Hope you don't mind me joining in the discussion. Here is some additional information on the comingling/intermarrying of the families. Alford (sometimes spelled Alfred) B. (not J.) Absher (sometimes spelled Abshire) was my gg-grandfather. His son was George Washington Absher (wrongly stated as George William Absher in many family trees). George Washington Absher was my g-grandfather.
Elizabeth Jane "Wheatley" (Whitley) Absher is buried in Fairlawn Cemetery in Stephens County, Oklahoma. My mother, who was very close to her grandmother (Emma Jane Absher wife of George Washington Absher) was passed down a photograph on which at the back Elizabeth Jane had written "My Alford was killed by Quantrill's raiders".
Well, according to all the documents available, he was only killed by the raiders because he was most likely riding next to them when Union volunteer forces were firing at them. But at the same time, if you read such books as "Inside War: The Guerrilla Conflict in Missouri during the American Civil War" by Michael Fellman, it is hard to tell what people were actually guilty of and just accused of during this period of time.
That Elizabeth Jane Wheatley Absher was committed enough to be one of 25 witnesses for the State in the alleged crimes of the Union volunteer/militia forces near Knob Noster was gutsy if, in fact, Alford B. Absher/Abshire was an active bushwhacker! It appears that he and another man were both killed on August 10, 1863 in a retaliatory raid by the Union volunteer militia group led by Maddox after the death of Dillingham. I'm not yet convinced, due to the situation Fellman presents in his book, that just because Alford was killed that day in retaliation, he was actually active in the bushwhackers...even if his brother-in-laws were. He may merely have been identified as a sympathizer or abettor.
Now, to Elizabeth Jane's second husband...Elija/Elisha McDaniel. You'll find her married to him and living near Paris, Texas (where many of the pro-secessionists retreated to from Missouri) in 1870. Note that he is 30 years older than her. Elija McDaniel was actually her uncle by marriage, not once, but twice.
Martin H. Wheatley had two sisters named Millie and Polly. Elija first married Millie, who apparently died and then he married her sister Polly, who also apparently died. After Alford's death, Elija married his former two wives' niece, Elizabeth Jane and then died, apparently, around 1872 in Texas.