You do not have to belong to Ancestry. com, the paid site to use the message board. If you want to contact your cousin...and keep it private... which is highly recommended..as you will be able to exchange pertinent information... just click on the name of the one who posted (upper left corner of the message) and one of the options is "contact this person" click on that, and you can exchange snail mail and E-mail addresses, without anyone else having access. Elaine