I agree, I looked for my moms ggreatgrandfather for years. Thought he had died right after 1880 but on a fluke I found him listed on the census records in 1900 under a different age. He had remarried and a granddaughter living with him. and filed for his pension from the war in 1901 and then found him again in 1910 where I promply lost him again. but at least now I know he did not die until after 1910. Good luck and I hope you find her.