The 1850 census is the man I am looking for,
but the marriage in 1846 I am not sure of. He married Lydia Dewey in 1852, supposedly his wife died earlier that year. He had three boys at home to care for, and Lydia was a relative of the deceased wife...that is in the family journal.
Unless, there was confusion and there were three wives. Which is also possible. That means the wife of 1846 died after only 6 years of marriage. But if this is accurate, then the wife of 1846 is the mother of Edward J. Kilbourn.