Have you had a male relative on the Cole side give a DNA test? Here is a link that may help find a connection.
There looks like there are 3 major familys, and so far one smaller one that split up going from NY , PA , Ohio , MI, and IN, IA. you could be part of this group.
Here is a link https://www.familytreedna.com/surname_join.aspx?code=V56968&...