Could your Mary Lay be the same as my Mary Lay who was the daughter of Col. Harrison L. Lay and his wife Susan Woolsey? They were listed in the 1860 Lincoln Co MO census. He is incorrectly indexed as "Morrison" Lay. Harrison Lay joined the Confederate army and later married my ancestor, Nancy Weathers Donaldson. I have never been able to determine what happened to Harrison's first family. Do you know the names of your Mary's parents or siblings?