What a sad situation! I would agree with you that the $40 charged to search the poor filing system is out of line. The cemetery grounds appear to be well kept.
You state: "a relative phoned and gave me the plots and gravesites for a few of my relatives at Holy Cross."
Here is a suggestion, go to the link below and search for your relative, if found see if the plots and gravesites are the same. To go further, you will need to log in and have the option of showing your email addy or not. The site is Free, is supported by adds and sponsorships.
If there is already a memorial but it does not have the plot you can click on the "Edit" tab and send the Plot information to the memorial creator. An email is sent with the suggestion to the creator and they can then add it to the memorial for you. The alternative is that you can request a transfer and add the information yourself. It appears that because it is such a large cemetery that the Plot number is necessary to find the grave.
After the Plot information is added you may then request a photograph of the headstone, if none is on the site.
If no memorial has been created, (there are 5,845 so far), you can create one and it include your Plot and gravesite information; then request a photo.
This site is addicting! I have used the site for about three years and have had tremendous success, met some very kind, helpful folks. Please respect copyright law if there is a photo there and read the bio of the person who took the photo to see if permission to use is necessary or not.
Holy Cross Cemetery and Mausoleum
Also known as: Holy Cross Chapel Cemetery and Mausoleumhttp://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=cr&CRid=91...
Postal Code: 02148
Phone: (888) 919-7926
~happy hunting! hope this was helpful if you had not already known of the site!
sudown (Ancestry & RootsWeb), PhotoGrapherInTheWoods (Find A Grave)