"Everyone gets to decide if and how they want their trees and/or DNA results handled without regard for how anyone else feels they should be handled-period."
Actually, I can't decide how I want my tree and DNA results handled. I'd like to delete any contact with those who DNA test with private trees, so they will never even know I exist as a DNA match. It's only fair, since they're not even really participating. But I can't. And if I go tit-for-tat and make myself private, I lose all the potential good people who understand that DNA matching only works if 2 sides actually participate.
It's a no-win situation for me and I think I'll "deal" with it by warning other's who might be interested in purchasing the test what they will face.