First - the private message service has failed often recently, so it may be (trying to be scrupulously fair here) that s/he has not received your messages.
But - I've also felt violated, so I understand.
Having taken your tree private, you have a couple of options. You can make it unsearchable, so people don't get hints from it - or even know it exists. That will take some time to accomplish, because the indexing process is irregular and more and more infrequent.
You can leave it searchable, so that others can see you have information, but will only be able to see that there may be information, but no details, documents, photos are visible. They can then attempt to contact you through the private message service and ask questions or for access.
In tree settings, click on the 2nd tab "privacy settings." 2nd section has the private tree and "prevent from being found" options.