I agree with you and I am just as much an idealist as you; learning a little etiquette would make these situations less intolerable. It's the same as the rules of the road, which are just as much trampled as these. I tried tracking down this "researcher" but have no proof of anything yet; she has a tree called "Lower East Side Beginnings" and it's a tree all right but there is something fishy about it.
Let me ask you this: if you've been asked to invite someone to view your tree, how do you nicely ask them not to post your photos/articles in their public tree unless they are photos of their own relatives? This is a sticky situation for me. Thanks!