Well, through MUCH searching, and looking 'outside the box' I finally found something big!! I now have proof that Joseph Jee Sr DID die in about 1856. Jane Jee remarried, but not to William Deacon. His name is JOHN Deacon. They had a daughter, Susannah, in 1858, the same year Lily Deacon was born. I'm sure Lily must have been her taken stage name.
Check out the 1861 England Census for Susannah Deacon. This has got to be Lily! She didn't marry into the Deacon family. She was born into it. You'll find her, 2 years old, with her parents, John and Jane, and ALL SEVEN Jee kids ... but on the record their last name looks like "Tees" so that's how it would come up in the Ancestry search - NOT Jee. This is positively them!!
There's also a Marriage record for Jane Jee and John Deacon, dated Dec 8, 1858. She must have had something about the day Dec 8th. She married Jos Jee on Dec 8, 1836. Creepy if you ask me.