There are 2 John Benders listed in the NSDAR Patriot Index. Unfortunately I don't think either are yours.
John Bender #1
Service: NORTH CAROLINA Rank: PATRIOTIC SERVICE
Birth: (CIRCA) 1735
Death: (ANTE) 11- -1832 ONSLOW CO. NORTH CAROLINA
Service Description: 1) PAID FOR SERVICES RENDERED
John Bender #2
Ancestor #: A008983
Service: PENNSYLVANIA Rank: PRIVATE
Birth: 4-11-1755 PHILADELPHIA PHILADELPHIA CO PENNSYLVANIA
Death: 7-16-1818 NORTHERN LIBERTIES PHILADELPHIA CO PENNSYLVANIA
Pension Number: *W15581
Service Source: *W15581
Service Description: 1) CAPT MCGEE, COL TIMOTHY MATLACK
Spouse: 1) JULIANNA MARGARET ALTEMUS
I looked at the pension for #2 and the wife is listed as Margaret. Just because he is not listed in the NSDAR Patriot Index, doesn't mean he didn't fight, means no one has joined under his lineage. There are some great books out there for Pennsylvania soldiers who fought in the American Revolutionary. Have you gone to the Pennsylvania's digital archives website http://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/community/mil...
or the Valley Forge Muster Roll website http://valleyforgemusterroll.org/
If I can be more of help, please let me or any of the volunteers for this message board know.
Sara Greer, VIS Volunteer