If I am reading your message right, the lady was unsuccessful in locating the grave, like the headstone is now missing. That does happen to some of the headstone, they break and then are removed from the graves.
I have found the funeral homes don't like to open their books to researchers, but some will look the record up for you as they have time. A few funeral homes have looked the records up for me and mailed me a copy(ies) of what they have, even the death certificate. One cemetery pulled out the various books I needed, and let me make digital photos of their records, didn't turn out too good low quality camera, so I was glad I had copied the info with pen and paper.
Good luck in all of you quests.
Happy holidays to you and your family.