Thanks for responding. I'm not sure how I got the first situation but I've run across it several times. It may have been when I imported from TMG/gedcom. Or maybe I detached the step-parent and the biological parent stayed non-preferred.
Most of these problems crop up as I find the families in the census records and one parent has died and the other remarries. I guess I've not been very careful when adding the family members and I'm paying the price.
Data is always a very tricky business! Thanks again. L